life?

There comes a point in your life when you know that you have messed it all up. It's not that you are being pessimistic or frustrated, you become simply too realistic and utterly indifferent to life's joys. You see the truth clearer than others, and you face life's finite nature more frequently than normal. After all, we are born to die and we die to be evaluated. But when is peace got? When is true purity attained? We spend life in a never ending quarrel with our very instincts, we are under a non stop test of 
self-discipline; what kind of life can be spent this way? What kind of joy could be attained? Only the fools deliver satisfaction to all their desires, and often the unexperienced believe that complete boycott to life's joys is the answer. not true! not real! there must be some kind of balance.

We are living in a world where people have given free pass to their kinky sides, nonetheless they are still expecting to live decently. But how? You have brains with instincts. In a perfect world, desires are tamed not fulfilled. But tamed to which extent and fulfilled to which limit, that is life's question for me? Is our purpose to live in a world of temptations managed by a stupid system that our ancestors have put forward? Or can we invent new boundaries and create new rules of our own? Why do we long for acceptance when all of us are new to this world? From whom do we get the okay to exist or live in a particular manner? From Family? I doubt, since family accepts us the way we are. Then whom do we long for? Peers? From where did they get such authority, they have just existed as long as we've and they have no right to set our lives' boundaries? Then what do we wait for? God? I believe yes. How can we know that we matter to him? Or that our existence influence the universe? Why can't we just... live? When will we do? Like i mentioned above, this temporary life will end for a series of evaluations to start. God, have mercy, protect us and give us time to figure out why we are here so we can fulfill it.