“22-year-old Egyptian girl”

Time flies. It is a truth, a certainty that you realize as you grow older and go further in life. 

Is it a bad thing? No, as when time flies the bad things end. However, the good things pass by as well. 

I can still remember when I was 14 and all I wished for in the whole wide world was to be 19 in order to get engaged and have my own house. I thought that Love lasts forever, that constancy is a sure thing and that people, including I, stay the same. 

I wished and dreamt for many nights of how I would be and how my life would be when I reach the age of 20 and I become an “official” adult. 

Funny, right?

Now, I am 22. And to tell you the truth, I am not even close to the picture I drew to myself when I was 14. 

One thing I learnt over those flying 8 years: Everything changes, Life changes You, so make peace with change as it will be the only constant in your life. 

When I remember what I expected myself to be at this age and what I imagined myself accomplishing by this phase of my life, I laugh my ass off! I thought I would conquer the world, achieve my dreams and be married to the guy I loved. 

But the reality is quite different. My dreams have drastically changed, my expectations have developed, my goals have evolved and Marriage became my last priority. I am not denying that love and companionship are needed and that I want them; however to commit to someone forever and ever... I am still not sure about this. 

The reason why I mentioned marriage in this piece, even before my career, is that this piece focuses on describing the average “22-year-old Egyptian girl” in the current times.

And for a girl at this age in Egypt, Marriage is THE keyword. 

Nowadays the situation is way better than before, no direct pressure from the family or the close ones is applied on the girls to get married. However, the indirect pressure and the hidden signs of “Come on, get married already” are all over the place.

First, a 22-year-old Egyptian girl’s circle of friends is full of either engaged or married girls who constantly try to hook her - the single friend - up with the good candidates they have in their social circles. 

Second, a 22-year-old Egyptian girl has a beautiful kind mother who develops a sudden urge to marry off her daughter and a new interest in her daughter’s love life to the extent that what used to be a big no, like having a boyfriend, is now an encouraged behavior. Thus, you can find the mother asking her daughter “Babe, how is your *wink*?”

Third, a 22-year-old Egyptian girl’s family members - like the uncles, the aunts, the grandmothers and the grandfathers - shockingly find it “appropriate” and “acceptable” to discuss relationships and guys with her. For instance, a distant relative could come and directly ask her whether she has a boyfriend or not, with no shame or “dogma” about it. 

Fourth, a 22-year-old Egyptian girl’s siblings start sharing their dreams of becoming aunties or uncles with her. They tell her how bad they want her to get married in order to have kids. 

Fifth, a 22 year-old-Egyptian girl’s father unprecedentedly discusses boys and relationships with her, shamelessly and with no boundaries.

So, this girl SUDDENLY needs to adapt to all these changes. This girl has to bear everyone’s interest in her love life. This girl has to understand that they insist and persist on getting her a guy because they care. This girl shouldn’t be offended by people discussing her love life in the open. And most importantly, this girl has to quickly recap that “relationship” and “love” are no longer a “taboo”, but rather a “wish” for her family. 

Personally, I don’t hate that all these things occur to me. Or that all these pressures are indirectly put on me. It’s okay, I understand. 

However, my sole query is Why? What changed?

Why all of a sudden it is acceptable for us to love?

Why all of a sudden it is okay for me to discuss my love life with my family?

Why all of a sudden it is acceptable to have a guy in my life?

What changed from me being 14 to me being 22? 

What changed in my morals and judgment that would make me more “obedient” to the rules in this older age than when I was younger? Shouldn’t I be more submissive at the age of 14 than I am at the age of 22? 

So, now I need to look at every person who asks me about my love life and once he/she knows that I am still single replies saying “No, come on! Get yourself a good groom, you need to get married!” with a big silent smile. Silent, because if I open my mouth I would ask them all these questions I listed above. Silent, because if I open my mouth I would ask them to Shut up. Silent, because if I open my mouth I would be starting a never-ending debate with them about how time flies and how a girl like me should be with her man in their house very soon. A debate that I would rather kill myself before I have with any of the elders in my family. 

So, I shut up and nod quietly. Although I have all of these loud questions and thoughts running through my head, I smile. 

I smile because I understand. I understand that they love me and that they wish me the best according to their opinions. 

I want to get married and I definitely want to have kids. But before all that, I want to fall in love. I want to enjoy my life. I want to explore my options and start developing a career path. 

Trust me, we are women: love and motherhood are genetically encoded in our bodies. We want all these things for ourselves more than anyone could ever want them for us. But we want them to come in time, not urged or rushed. 

Baby steps... 

So, first allow us to simply find a guy... a guy who would sweep me off my feet.