Life goes on

Life goes on. It really does. It doesn’t stop, it doesn’t wait and it definitely doesn’t pause. I say this out of a personal experience. I say it out of a true belief in its continuity and its endless nature. The thing is your life is all about time. It starts the day you’re born and ends the day you die. It has nothing to do with your emotional status, your financial situation nor your social standard. It only has to do with the time you’ve and how you use it. 

I have tried to pause Life. And it was the most stupid thing I’ve ever tried to pull off. I have always thought that since it’s my time -my life- I can do whatever I please with it. But it’s wrong. Even if you choose to spend it doing nothing it always goes by...and then you run out of life. You can’t really do what you please with your time. You could choose to spend it hideously or amazingly, but you can never stop it. You can’t control it, you can’t seize it. It slips. It passes by. It does whatever it wants, without your permission. We’re under the control of our time/lives, not the other way around. 

When I’ve tried to pause my life, I couldn’t. All I really did was pausing my existence. I turned myself into a shadow: I stopped interacting with people, I stopped working, I even stopped fighting for my dreams. I paused myself, not my time. As my time continued to pass by, I sat on the side and thought. I thought of who I was, who I am and who I want to be. I analyzed the causes, I blamed the trappers and I wept over my miseries. After being done with all that stupid self remorse, I came to the conclusion that we all fight for our existence and that it was never meant to be easy. Life is not a luxurious spa, where you pay the staff to heal your pain. NO! On the contrary, it is the track upon which you run. You run for your dreams, you run through your problems, you run towards the ones you love, you run away from your haters...you run. You work so hard to get what you want and dispose of what you despise. You work for yourself, you handle your own issues. There are no pay offs, no hired staff, nothing. It’s you. You’re your own boss, and you’re your own labor. To get rid of the shit in your life, you must remove it yourself. It’s hard, it’s nasty but it must be done. When I tried to avoid this mandatory cleaning process, I drowned deeper in my problems. 

It’s okay to take pauses, small and brief ones, every once in a while. But it’s never okay to live on the sidelines waiting for someone to come and snap you out of there, reintroducing you to life. It’s either you live Life yourself, or you haven’t lived at all. Life is a time frame or a spatial track to your actions and decisions. When your life is up, that means you’ve reached your final goal: no more track to run, nor more time to spend. You have finished your race. Your life is over, but Life goes on.