Family
There are good times as many as the bad times in our lives. During these good times, we feel like we can take out the whole world on our own and break all the boundaries with no regrets. We experience our independence and strength to the maximum. We forget about the words weakness, need, sorrow and fear. Our lives seem to be perfectly organized and handled that no existence matters but ours. With such ego and self-centrism we push everyone away. We go on alone, accompanied by our success and satisfaction.
However, I wonder about what happens during the bad times, the dark ones when we can not believe in anyone especially ourselves. We feel lonely, weak, vincible, and most of all regretful. At such hours, and in such times no one cares about us, no one is here for us. Not only because we have already pushed everyone out of our lives, but because no one can truly understand what is going on inside of us: no one can justify our tempers, our eccentric attitudes, nor our brutal comments and actions. Thus, as they are not forced to put up with us, they draw away, run, vanish; and we are left alone.
Who stand by us then? Who pull us out?
I believe that the answer of such question is obvious yet instinctive: it's the Family. Yes, it's true. No matter how distant, far, disconnected you are of your family, you find them there for you. No matter what happened, happens or will happen they stick to you. They put up with your whining, aching and screaming. They look after you and clean up your mess for nothing in exchange. They expect nothing, they want nothing. All they want is your good being. Whoever doesn't have such family, has missed on a lot. These members so called family become your back bone, your spinal cord, your oxygen; as they are always there, they are so important, but they are barely noticed. They back you up in every possible way without you knowing, during your good and bad times.
The purpose of writing this piece is to draw a spotlight on an obvious yet neglected issue: the role of the family in our lives. I have had and am having a few bad times, during which I act madly inexplicably. No one has been there for me as much as my family. Without them I'd have collapsed in a week: they protected me from everyone including myself, they filled me with love, attention and wisdom, and they helped me through what I found impossible to solve. I find myself ashamed of what I missed and haven't noticed but now: they give their all unconditionally. Thus, they deserve the best.
But I am no best. For that, I feel incompetent and incapable of paying them back. I feel small and weak for not being able to do so no matter how hard I try. All I know is that I'm ready to do anything for them; as they have loved me when I hated myself, they have given me everything when I knew that I deserve nothing, and they have saved me when I believed I deserve the sufferance. I ought to be a source of pride, joy and happiness; in contrary, I end up being a reason of tears and sorrow. Hence, I decided to become the best possible version of myself. I wish God can help and support me in such mission, as I am simultaneously seeking his grace and mercy.
In closure, there are no enough words to describe what role does the family have in our lives. Their role is so big that it can never be fully grasped. I hope that one day I get to make my family proud of who I am, and in consequence become their supporter instead of their burden. Finally, I can say that Family is like this magical pocket we have, it's unseen yet very useful. Thus use it gently to keep it longer.
However, I wonder about what happens during the bad times, the dark ones when we can not believe in anyone especially ourselves. We feel lonely, weak, vincible, and most of all regretful. At such hours, and in such times no one cares about us, no one is here for us. Not only because we have already pushed everyone out of our lives, but because no one can truly understand what is going on inside of us: no one can justify our tempers, our eccentric attitudes, nor our brutal comments and actions. Thus, as they are not forced to put up with us, they draw away, run, vanish; and we are left alone.
Who stand by us then? Who pull us out?
I believe that the answer of such question is obvious yet instinctive: it's the Family. Yes, it's true. No matter how distant, far, disconnected you are of your family, you find them there for you. No matter what happened, happens or will happen they stick to you. They put up with your whining, aching and screaming. They look after you and clean up your mess for nothing in exchange. They expect nothing, they want nothing. All they want is your good being. Whoever doesn't have such family, has missed on a lot. These members so called family become your back bone, your spinal cord, your oxygen; as they are always there, they are so important, but they are barely noticed. They back you up in every possible way without you knowing, during your good and bad times.
The purpose of writing this piece is to draw a spotlight on an obvious yet neglected issue: the role of the family in our lives. I have had and am having a few bad times, during which I act madly inexplicably. No one has been there for me as much as my family. Without them I'd have collapsed in a week: they protected me from everyone including myself, they filled me with love, attention and wisdom, and they helped me through what I found impossible to solve. I find myself ashamed of what I missed and haven't noticed but now: they give their all unconditionally. Thus, they deserve the best.
But I am no best. For that, I feel incompetent and incapable of paying them back. I feel small and weak for not being able to do so no matter how hard I try. All I know is that I'm ready to do anything for them; as they have loved me when I hated myself, they have given me everything when I knew that I deserve nothing, and they have saved me when I believed I deserve the sufferance. I ought to be a source of pride, joy and happiness; in contrary, I end up being a reason of tears and sorrow. Hence, I decided to become the best possible version of myself. I wish God can help and support me in such mission, as I am simultaneously seeking his grace and mercy.
In closure, there are no enough words to describe what role does the family have in our lives. Their role is so big that it can never be fully grasped. I hope that one day I get to make my family proud of who I am, and in consequence become their supporter instead of their burden. Finally, I can say that Family is like this magical pocket we have, it's unseen yet very useful. Thus use it gently to keep it longer.
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